Good news, GOPocalypsers! An unpopular Republican Utah Congressman announced he won’t be seeking reelection. Good. The Utah Congressman is Rep. Jason Chaffetz who is the chairman of the House Oversight Committee. Ooooh, even better!
Rep. Chaffetz was elected to Utah’s 3rd district in 2008 and he has been like an angry hemorrhoid on the anus of this country ever since. He was a dick to the LGBT community, to women, and did everything he could to stop progress at all costs. He was a spineless weasel who despite his disgust over Donald Trump’s pussy grabbing tape, was invertebrate enough to say he would still vote for the rapist-in-chief. When he walks out of his office for the last time, I hope he promptly falls down a manhole.
You may be wondering, Rosie, just WHY do you hate Chaffetz so much?
Here are seven reasons why Chaffetz deserves to wake up with a pubic hair stuck in his teeth, every morning, for the rest of his life:
7. iPhones: After Trump was elected and talks on Trumpcare were beginning, Chaffetz, who has taxpayer-funded healthcare, told the country that “maybe rather than getting that new iPhone that they just love and they want to go spend hundreds of dollars on that, maybe they should invest it in their own health care.” Oh, f*ck you, buddy. Recalling this memory makes me hope someone shits in his cereal. Because for many families, not buying an iPhone would cover precisely less than a month of the cost of their healthcare. But Chaffetz is such a dastardly prick, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to richsplain to poor people how to handle their finances.
The internet response to this was BRUTAL.
6. Townhall 2017: Chaffetz, like many Republicans this year, faced a raucous town hall meeting where he was berated for his anti-American positions on issues and for being soft on Donald Trump. Rather than take it in stride, Chaffetz, being the shifty weasel he is, tried to discredit the crowd as being paid protesters who weren’t really from his district.
5. Refusal to investigate Gen. Mike Flynn: To prove what a hypocritical piece of garbage he is, Chaffetz, who politicized Benghazi every chance he got prior to the election, refused to investigate Gen. Flynn. Flynn, who had contact with the Russians prior to the election, failed to disclose those contacts and also failed to disclose his relationship with Turkish President Tayyip Erdoğan as a foreign lobbyist. Can you just imagine if this had happened under President Obama!? Chaffetz also refuses to investigate Trump’s towering list of conflicts of interest.
4. Chaffetz used pro-life propaganda in Planned Parenthood hearing: The hearing over whether or not Planned Parenthood sold “baby body parts” really put Chaffetz on the map…for being terrible. In a rigorous interrogation, Chaffetz tried to point out Cecile Richards, President of Planned Parenthood, that she was lying about the number of abortions her organization provides and that it does more abortions than cancer screenings (abortion accounts for only 3 percent of PP services). He tried to prove abortions were in fact on the rise, by using a chart straight off a pro-life propaganda website.
This was the chart, with no Y-axis, disproportionate figures (note the number of cancer screenings is higher but appears lower) and the chart clearly cites “Americans United for Life” which is a pro-life group:
Politifact rated his claim “Pants on Fire.” Chaffetz looked like a dunce and the investigation was based entirely on a strategically edited video from David Daleidan who is now facing felony charges while Planned Parenthood was cleared of wrongdoing.
3. Chaffetz believes vaccines cause autism: Derp.
2. Solar Panels: Did you know constantly dumping carbon and methane into our air is good for the planet and that solar panels are bad for animals and the environment? Yeah, that’s something Chaffetz actually believes. And he said this as recently as 2017. Listen, at this point, if Republicans are against something it’s probably the best thing for us.
And the number one reason…..
1. Benghazi: If you need any proof Benghazi was a purely politicized issue, think about how many times Republicans have mentioned it after the election. Chaffetz was one of the most vocal Congressman calling for action against the Obama Administration and Hillary Clinton for their perceived roll in the attack and “coverup.” Yet, when Chaffetz was asked if he cut funding for embassies in the region he said, “Absolutely. Look, we have to make priorities and choices in this country.”
Among other transgressions to this country, Chaffetz voted against helping battered women, wants to cut social security, wants to kick millions of people off health care, upholds strict anti-LGBT discrimination in the name of religious freedom and refuses to investigate anything related to Donald Trump. May he never return to public service.