After 50 Horrific Days In Office, Why Every One Of Trump’s ‘Achievements’ Is A Lie

Approximately 135,210 years ago, Donald Trump was sworn into office. I remember it well: there were 35.5 billion people there in the mall — it was YUGE; largest president inauguration in world history — and the sun was shining brightly because Baby Jesus was happy. All was right with the world.

Almost immediately after that, he got to work. And then almost immediately after that, he went golfing, and has almost every weekend since. But don’t worry; he’s white, so it’s okay that he’s wasting your tax dollars at Mar-a-Lago.

So here we are, 50 days later, on the cusp of the pre-sequel connecting 28 Days Later with 28 Weeks Later. The Detroit Free Press decided that today would be a good day to take a look back at the first 50 years days of Trump’s presidency, so I figured, why not do the same?

We could start with the very first press conference, which set the tone for the administration. Or the 48 hours after it, which introduced the world to Spicer facts and alternative facts (and caused a spike in the sales of 1984 on Amazon).


Related: Sean Spicer Just Admitted On Twitter That He’s A Lying, Delusional Douchebag


Or we could start with the Not Muslim Ban, which targeted Muslim countries Trump didn’t have business connections with. It lost three times in court, and the third time, Trump tweeted a promise to see the judges of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in court, someone he could probably do if he just clicked on this link.

Oh, we could also start with the swamp. Trump made good on his promise to drain the swamp — he drained it right into his cabinet, where it’s been ever since. This led to General Flynn and Jeff Sessions, both of whom came under fire for suspicious connections to Russia, another common theme with this Administration.


Related: ‘Drain The Swamp,’ Huh? Trump Rewards Big Campaign Donors With Big Government Jobs


Or we could start with the first major piece of legislation, the American Health Care Disaster Act. Or The Wall, which has only served to strengthen our relationship with Mexico. Or his unmatched geopolitical savvy, which has so far managed to alienate most of our major allies.

And somewhere in there, Betsy DeVos showed the world that she couldn’t spell, but that’s fine, because the stuff her boss does to the English language should be criminal.

As usual, though, the folks on Facebook can sum it up much better than I can:

No, we aren’t dead yet. . .

Yet.

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