It has begun. For eight long years, conservatives have done everything in their power to delegitimize the presidency of Barack Obama. He’s black. He’s not black enough. He’s only black when it’s convenient. He’s not a real American. He’s secretly Muslim. He has no right to fill a vacancy on the Supreme Court — he only has six months left in office. Who does he think he is? POTUS?
Conservatives have taken a good, hard look at their candidate and concluded the only reason Hillary Clinton will become the next president of the United States, is because Hair Hitler is an incompetent boob. Arguably the most-qualified human being ever to seek the office won’t really “win,” — it’s just that he’s going to lose. So says the National Review, in what will go down in the annals of journalism as the single most convoluted sentence in the history of the English language. Ready? Diagram this:
Unless something radical and unexpected happens, Donald Trump is going to lose the 2016 presidential election — he’ll lose it more than Hillary Rodham Clinton will win it — for more or less the reasons that his critics on the right have been explaining for more than a year now: In short, the sort of thing that makes hearts go pitter-patter out in derka-derka talk-radio land doesn’t necessarily fly in the rest of the country and may in fact even come off as creepy and weird, which is why three times as many people watch The Middle — a show I’d never heard of — as watch Sean Hannity’s nightly Trump-fest on Fox News.
That’s the “National Review’s roving correspondent,” Kevin D. Williamson. Pro tip: you misspelled *meandering. In short, “he’ll lose it more than Hillary Rodham Clinton will win it.” The meaning is clear: she’ll win by default, not because of any political acumen or achievement.
Please ignore her 40 year history of fighting conservatives for the rights of women, children and families. Pretend 8 million children don’t have access to healthcare because of her efforts. Take no notice of the families of wounded U.S. military personnel, who are now protected by the Family Medical Leave Act thanks to her. Schedule a campaign photo-op with 9-11 first responders, but then oppose her efforts to get them the healthcare they earned, Republicans. And turn a blind eye to her leadership, helping create the Office on Violence Against Women at the U.S. Department of Justice. Besides serving as First Lady, U.S. Senator and Secretary of State — clearly, she’s a slacker.
Kevin seems certain that Hillary “could have been beaten by a dozen actual conservatives from whom Republicans had the opportunity to choose.” Really? Name one. Ted Cruz? He’s loathed by his colleagues — especially those on his side of the aisle. Governor Kasich could’ve given her a run for her money — ‘cause he’s the kind of guy who ‘sounds reasonable,’ but hides the shiv until you look the other way. Sort of like Illinois’ Republican Governor Bruce Rauner, who publicly praised a bill which would automatically register millions of new voters, until he quietly vetoed it last Friday afternoon. But I digress.
Kevin gets a lot right — like this passage: “He blames the media, for making him look nuts by reporting the things he says — which are nuts. Okey-dokey.” No argument here.
Look, nobody enjoys watching the “GOPocalypse” more than I do, but Republicans have no one but themselves to blame for the candidate Bill Maher has referred to as “White Kanye.” This specious and downright offensive narrative that Secretary Clinton would lose to any one of the cavalcade of clowns the right proferred in 2016 (“except Trump”) serves a purpose, however: they seek to diminish her and the historic nature of her eventual win.
Things are so bad for Republicans, the Times’ Maureen Dowd is now HRC’s champion, referring to her as a “Goldwater Girl,” noting “a cascade of prominent Republicans endorsing Hillary, donating to Hillary, appearing in Hillary ads, talking up Hillary’s charms.” In short: “The Republicans have their candidate: It’s Hillary.” Really?
Media Matters studied her essays and found that, since 1993, 75% of everything Maureen writes about her casts Hillary in a negative light. Evidently the worst thing she can think of to say now is, ‘she’s a Republican.’ Take a moment to let that sink in. Read any of her acerbic columns and Hillary was “Earth Mother meet Mommie Dearest,” who is “betraying feminism” or a politician “nothing but a wooden stake would stop.” Once, she referred to the former Secretary of State as “the debate dominatrix.” No wonder Trump is running scared.
Back at the National Review, Kevin writes, “Most recently, [Trump] has been looking for an excuse to skip the debates against Hillary Rodham Clinton, clearly terrified that she is going to hand him his ass.” Yes — yes, she will. It’ll be something to watch, too. The ratings should be “yuge.”
Remind your friends that turnout for this election needs to be just as “bigly” — take nothing for granted — because if Putin’s pet makes it to the Oval Office, the future of “the world’s oldest constitutional democracy” will most certainly be in jeopardy.