Can We Please Pretend Bernie Never Ran And Save America From A Psychotic Tyrant?

I remember shortly after Barack Obama won re-election. It didn’t take long until everyone on the left was going giddy over the idea of Hillary Clinton running for president in 2016. When she updated the landing page of her personal website, that was the signal to nearly every progressive commentator and pundit that something was in the air.

Virtually everyone was speculating what it meant. Will she run for president? Are we ready for the first woman in the oval office? What will we call Bill, the First Dude? This was happening already early in 2013, long before the primary and the start of the bad times.

Long story short, everyone was totally ready for Hillary. There wasn’t a huge criticism of her from anyone other than Republicans. Then Bernie came along and everything changed.

I was/am a Bernie supporter. I voted for him in the primary. However, I am also one of those liberals who was totally ready for Hillary right up until Bernie came onto the scene.

This brings me to the part that really rubs me the wrong way. Everyone who was this ultra progressive Bernie supporter now seems to think that some libertarian burnout who can’t find his own ass with both hands and a map, or a lady who thinks Barack Obama is an “uncle tom” and WiFi is melting our brain is some kind of better alternative to Hillary. Add onto that the fact that neither of them are going to win — and no, it won’t be a “protest vote” that will scare Democrats into listening to you — and I’m left with only one solution.

We have to pretend Bernie Sanders never entered the race. It’s the only way I can see to fix this problem. Virtually all progressives were gung-ho for Hillary. Bernie showed up and didn’t make it. Now they hate her. What changed exactly? I get that there were some issues with the DNC and I think Hillary could have been a little less contradictory trying to draw distinctions between Bernie and herself. But is that honestly enough of a reason to force us into a Trump presidency?

If she was corrupt during or after after the primary, she logically would have been corrupt before it as well. If she was some bad evil person during or after the primary, she was the same way before it. A cycle of a few months didn’t change her entire history or personality. Whatever this new crop of not-really-liberals hates about her now already existed a few years ago. Somehow, nobody seemed to care at the time and they were totally going to vote for her — until Bernie.

Let’s pretend Bernie never ran for president, and he just endorsed Hillary instead. Let’s pretend he still met with her and pushed her into one of the most progressive agendas since FDR and the New Deal. Maybe if that sense of “We didn’t get our way” wasn’t there anymore, we could all remember how much we loved Hillary not that long ago.

A vote for anyone but Hillary IS a vote for Trump. That’s a fact and not an opinion. It also isn’t a scare tactic by Democrats to get you to vote for them. Trust me, no progressives had to encourage Republicans to support a Nazi for president. They always had it in them. They only needed the proper guy to legitimize it.


RELATED: Here’s The Letter Bernie Just Sent To The Leaders Of ‘The Revolution’ Who Refuse To Come To Their Senses


Anyone who is going to protest at the ballot box this November needs to ask themselves some tough questions and answer them honestly. Are you ready for a possible 30-year ultra-conservative know-nothing Supreme Court full of crazy Trump fanboys and Clarence Thomas clones who take their orders from corporate America? Are you prepared to give the nuclear football to a guy who stays up all night in a rage because someone said something mean about him on Twitter? Are you ready for an authoritarian militarized police wave to cover the nation? Do you want a president who will fight for a lower minimum wage?

Can’t we all, pretty please, with a cherry on top, just pretend Bernie never ran, and go back to how it was when we all loved Hillary before we hated her so much? That way we can unite and comfortably vote for her to stop a raging psychopathic manbaby from possibly starting a nuclear, social or economic holocaust.


More from Gopocalypse contributor

Scott Baio Wins Stupidest Tweet Of The Week After Falling For Hoax (TWEETS)

Scott Baio really needs to take a vacation from the internet and...
Read More