If you’re like me, and most other Americans, you probably wonder what Mike Pence ate for breakfast this morning or the conversations he has concerning his pajamas with his mother. Well, finally, we have a way to know the answer to these questions and more: it’s called the Official President Mike Pence page, a celebration of the 46th President of the United States of America.
Related: You’re Forgetting About Mike Pence-You’re Forgetting About MIKE PENCE-YOU’RE FORGETTING ABOUT MIKE PENCE!!!
You can learn all sorts of things about our 46th President from this web page. For instance, did you know that know Mike Pence’s grandfather immigrated from Ireland, which isn’t a Muslim Majority country? Or that his first stirrings as a young man were as a direct result of the sexual charisma and magnetism of Jimmy Carter?
With this web page, you’ll see an intimate portrayal of a (totally heterosexual) Brother in Christ and faithful leader from the Heartland of America, and learn things you didn’t want to know, but will wind up knowing anyway — after all, who among us hasn’t had a mother advise us to, “find a new more modest solution to your sleepwear situation–ideally one cut from thick fabric and sewed tightly at the seams” because “holes in pajamas can result in unintended glimpses of the human body, which lead to naughty nighttime behavior?”
Related: Watch Mike Pence Lie, Get Down On His Knees And Buttsmooch Trump Over Russia On Live TV (VIDEO)
You won’t learn everything about Mike Pence from this website, of course. For instance, one thing you won’t learn about our Brother in Christ is that, before becoming governor of God’s Own Country, he moonlighted as Hank Hill’s father, from the hit TV show King of the Hill.
Seriously, just look at this comparison and tell he isn’t:
They’re practically twins separated at birth.
But aside from small facts like that, you can find all the answers you never knew you wanted about our glorious leader, Mike Pence, 46th president of the United States of America.
God help us all.