During her confirmation hearings, Betsy DeVos issued a dire warning that nobody heeded: schools need firearms to protect themselves from “potential grizzlies.”
We laughed at her, but it turns out that Mother Nature had other plans.
On Tuesday morning, a pair of black bears in Southington, Connecticut, appeared on the radar of two local schools: Hatton Elementary and DePaolo Middle School. The schools were placed under “Secure School Mode,” which is basically a form of lock-down. Emails were sent out to parents, but by 10 a.m., school had resumed as usual and the bears had wandered off.
Sounds like Betsy DeVos might have been right. That weird situation where the stars align, Cthulhu stirs, and the apocalyptic heralds start preaching the end of the world might actually have happened.
But don’t start buying Armageddon insurance yet. There’s more than a few details out of place here.
Let’s start with the most pedantic thing on the list: these were black bears, not grizzlies. Now, this doesn’t mean you should walk up and give it a hug — it’s still a bear. But neither type of bear goes out of their way to attack humans anymore than sharks do.
Secondly, but no less pedantically, DeVos mentioned Wyoming, not Connecticut:
— CNN (@CNN) January 18, 2017
Finally, and most importantly, not one shot was fired.
Of course, right-wingers who responded to an article by the Detroit Free Press “Betsy DeVos was right! Bear puts schools on lockdown” don’t see it this way. For them, it’s all about that sweet, sweet vindication — even when none exists:
You don’t need a firearm to avoid confrontations with most animals. You just need to be intelligent — something DeVos and most right-wingers don’t know a great deal about.