Donald Trump has finally figured out the reason why Hillary Clinton is winning all the debates. She’s doping.
Like a political Lance Armstrong, he claims she’s taking banned substances to get “pumped up” before the debates, giving her an unfair edge. So now, the reasons that Trump loses in 2016 will be rigged polls, rigged electoral processes, probably something about Wikileaks, and drugs as well. I mean it couldn’t possibly be that he’s just a failure as a human being. Could it?
Trump wasn’t able to suggest what particular substance he believes Clinton is using, but we can say it sure as hell isn’t cocaine. Donald is a perfect example of that because look at how it affected his performance in the first two. Mister Sniffles cratered like a speeding 747 into the side of a mountain.
Trump has the solution: Pre-debate drug testing.
A guy who’s acting in a way that makes everyone think hes doing cocaine wants to be drug tested. Does he even know how drug tests work? If he was tested, then everyone would know about his little problem — including authorities.
There was nobody who suggested Hillary is taking drugs. It’d be idiotic to think it. Even if I wasn’t a liberal, objectively speaking she did nothing to indicate that suspicion. At the same time, Trump was snuffling and sniffing like an 80s stock broker with too much money and an inclination to make bad decisions.
It almost makes you pity the guy, but not quite. He’s still a terrible human being, with or without his secret sauce. All I can say is I hope he gets help for his problem after he’s relieved of the burden of campaigning.