Donald Trump’s Poll Numbers Are Tanking In The Most Unexpected Place Ever

Once again, for the fourth straight month, our president, the Great Mango Mussolini — he who cannot fail, and only be failed — has seen stupendous poll figures. These poll numbers are so high they’re clearing the ceiling set by that proverbial lead balloon, which just goes to show how good Trump is at this being president thing.

Nationwide, his approval rating hovers at a staggering 41% of the population. Now, you might think that’s low, but it’s really not. That’s 9% away from 50%, which is half of the population! This also means that Donald Trump is probably more popular than pubic lice and Nickelback, which is what I call “winning” — it’s all the winning. He’s also more popular than his signature healthcare failure, and more popular than hemorrhoids, which also makes him more popular Ted Cruz. After all, I know a fair number of liberals who named their first hemorrhoid after the Texas congresscritter.


Related: Trumpcare’s Approval Rating Is Officially Lower Than Kicking Puppies


And speaking of Texas, you won’t find another state where Trump is more clearly winning in the polls. According to a recent poll conducted by Texas Lyceum, a full 42% of Texans approve of his job, which is above the national average. Of course, with the +/-3.1% margin of error, the poll might put him below the national average, but still more popular than Ted Cruz, who polls at 31% of the Texas population.

Are you tired of winning yet? You better not be. There’s a lot more winning to come.

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