‘Drain The Swamp,’ Huh? Trump Rewards Big Campaign Donors With Big Government Jobs

In yet another example of Donald Trump’s promise to “drain the swamp,” he is now rewarding big donors with big positions in his new government, redefining what it means to be a kakocractic kleptocracy — or a kleptocratic kakocracy — your choice.

According to a new piece by Politico, High Lord Orange Peel has stocked his cabinet with six donors, and 38% of the 119 people appointed to high-level positions in our new Banana Republic are also campaign donors. Taken together, the donors contributed $1.7 million to Trump and the groups that supported him, and little over $57 million to the rest of the party, for an average of about $800,000 per donor.

I feel like I should emphasize that this is from the man who bragged about how his campaign was “self-funded,” when in reality it was a farce demonstrating that nobody ever went bankrupt betting against American idiocy. He promised he’d bring back jobs — jobs that won’t be coming back — and promised he’d “drain the swamp,” which, as you can see, is coming along swimmingly.

RELATED: Constitution-Loving GOP Considers Stripping House Members Of First Amendment Right

Perhaps the most extraordinary case is Todd Ricketts, who comes from the family that founded TD Ameritrade, and who owns the Chicago Cubs. He’s one of the top benefactors for the Republican Party, and taken together, his businesses ended up handing the Republicans $15.7 million in 2016. In exchange for this and forming a super PAC called Future45, which became the largest unlimited money group, Ricketts was given the position as Deputy Secretary of Commerce.

Betsy DeVos is another example. Throughout the election, DeVos and her family donated $10.4 million to Donald Trump, just like Jesus would’ve wanted, and in return, Trump appointed her director of the Department of Education.

And they’re just two of many. Trump is everything wrong with this country, as this moral turpitude and corruption demonstrate. So in retrospect, it’s only fitting that he won the election after all. I mean, the world always knew we were morally bankrupt and hopelessly corrupt, so let’s just prove them right.

Sadly, that seems to be Trump’s guiding philosophy at any rate.

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