Guys, right-wingers have a problem. I mean a big league problem that their Orange God cannot fix (I know! He is supposed to be able to fix everything isn’t he?). These people, the same ones who scream “MORAN!” at us on the interwebz while they stroke their guns to photos of Cheeto, cannot satire At ALL. I mean, really, not even a little. Even when they are reading an article that has categories checked off like “Beefaroni” and “Long Grain Brown Rice” these people are like,”That’s the truth and we know it!” Maybe it’s because they are so smart their brains can’t make it compute, I don’t know but they just fall for everything. It’s almost sad.
The latest example of this comes to us from the satire website The Last Line of Defense. This morning they published an article entitled,”Suspect In Scalia Murder Named — Nationwide Manhunt Begins” where they claimed:
After an independent report found a chemical derivative from foxglove in Antonin Scalia’s spinal and ocular fluid, an investigation began into an unknown man spotted on a single security camera at the hunting resort where the Supreme Court Justice was found dead. This afternoon, that man has been identified and the authorities across the country are being alerted to be on the lookout for him.
The suspect, identified only as John McMan, is a professional assassin who has been evading capture for 20 years and is wanted for questioning in over a dozen murders, including two that may link back to Hillary Clinton.
Totally obvious, right? Who the f*ck would fall for that? Well, A LOT of people according to the site’s Facebook page:
OMG the murders have been “confidently” kept out of the press! *GASP*
Yeah, John McMan is gonna get super dead soon.
Do you see what they did there? “Mus-administrations,” see it? Har har har.
Hillary is so killy.
Haha, so clever. “Kills himself.”
And our favorite comment:
THANK YOU, JAYSUS!
Ahhhhh…yes, that just made our day as well.