Facebook couldn’t do it. Google and all of the native ad companies couldn’t do it. When the lightweights fail, that’s when you call in the heavy guns. That’s when the town lights the Busta Signal:
Seriously, though, this whole thing actually kinda happened by accident, like most of the good things that happen in my life. In this case, the Russians who were the purveyors of fake news for profit during virtually the entire election cycle were lured to a single liberal troll because of one thing and one thing only: Results. You see, in the world of hyperbolic headlines and sensationalized sales of published goods, I’m a master. I was trained at Addicting Info Enterprises LLC. That means I really know how to let you know that “No F*cks Left Obama Lost His Sh*t And CRUCIFIED Sean Hannity In Greatest 23 Seconds Of Video EVER (DETAILS)”
What I learned is that it’s so much easier to feed garbage to conservatives and hey, at least they’re on the other side, right? The stories I tell are pure satirical fiction. The page has “satire” marked all over it. 2 disclaimers and a visual aid along with enough clues and breadcrumbs to lead a mentally challenged squirrel to the conclusion that this is not real, and yet they believe. The headlines and hoaxes are great, but those damned Russians…they won’t stop stealing it.
Those “Russians” are actually a group of teenagers in Veles, Macedonia, formerly known as Yugoslavia. They own and operate a couple dozen pages with a few million fans and all they do is copy and paste whatever gets the most shares on a conservative page. My stuff gets mad shares, because it’s sensationalist garbage and death hoaxes. These people, with no satire disclaimers, steal my stories and sell as them real. People get mad, call me a part of the problem, the news is still fake, yada yada yada.
They took it within minutes and spread it to a reach of millions. That not only hurt my own reach, it also turned me into the bad guy. So I did what I had to do. I started finding the bigger pages and reporting them to Facebook. What these copy and paste “news aggregators” don’t understand is that I’m not some pass it along, reblogging shlep; all of my material is original, written by me and 100% my intellectual property.
That means I have the right to send Digital Millenium Copyright Act notices to take down my material to Facebook, their hosting companies and most recently, their advertisers. They all have the same policy: A DMCA taken notice is complied with unless the party files a counter-claim, under penalty of perjury, that the intellectual property is theirs.
Are you following? I know…TL;DR. Anyway, Facebook, GoDaddy, NameCheap and the rest of them are finally getting tired of these people and the trouble they cause. Today when I woke up, I was informed by one of my Macedonian “contacts” that 22 pages had gone down from Facebook. That right there is what you can call a successful campaign.
I don’t want my bullshit to sold as real. They don’t get it. Having the satire tag all the fuck over it is what makes it some epic damned trolling. It’s right on the end of their noses. They can almost reach out and touch how foolish they look. And the liberals loyal to the page are a fantastic mix of hardcore trolls right down to the guy who can’t help comment because he can’t believe what he’s seeing.
Yes, I profit from the dichotomy of politics and the exploitation of the older generation of conservatives and their ass-backward ways. I wish I felt like I should apologize for it but I don’t. I think it’s great that a collection of Hoverounders are having a good enough time enjoying clicking ads on the internet for me to afford Orlando once a year with the fam. I love to rub their noses in it. It’s part of being a liberal troll. Their anger pleases me.
So now, all of those assholes like Craig Silverman from Buzzfeed who has made a shitty career even shittier with his fake news articles and Josh Gillin from Politifact with his incredible expose’ of facts everyone but him knew about in December of 2015 can kiss my fat, hairless yet somewhat pimply ass. Your big issue was always that I was the source of a good amount of fake news. My answer was that I was working on it. What was reported? I’m a big fake faker. Well, as promised, assholes, I did my part and now the network mostly responsible is gone. There will certainly be stragglers, and those kids are resilient and they’ll keep trying to come back, but still…it’s good to know that a little trollbait and a few months later they’re gone.
I tried to tell them. I reasoned with a few. I partnered with a few for share agreements and licensing of my stuff. In the end, they’re all nothing but as bunch of kids living large on not a lot of money in a place that hasn’t seen an influx of cash since they scrapped the aluminum from the Olympic Stadium in Sarajevo. They thought they could just keep going. They were wrong.