It’s 7:30 AM On A Monday Morning And Trump Just Tweeted…Sigh…Here We Go Again

Oh for f*ck’s sake, Donnie, give it a rest. Does it really have to be every single Monday Morning? And…who writes this crap? Is it you, the voices in your head or the cocaine? Seriously, you six-foot-three pile of steaming orange cowpie…shut it down, take the week off and try to end the bender you’re on. At this point it’s not even about you anymore. Everyone knows you’re an idiot; stop taking the rest of us with you.

OK, so here are the mega ultra important tweets coming out of the Oval Office where Lord Cheeto the Sh*tstain on Humanity is currently doing rails off of a picture of Reagan on the Resolute Desk:

Just…what? The Clinton campaign ended in November of last year, you simpleton. The answer to your questions are “just…what?”, “are you seriously this stupid?” and “What in the everloving f*ck are you talking about?” We’re gonna also go with “no, no and no,” stupid. Try to get this through your massive pumpkinhead: nobody cares about a Fox and Friends investigation into nothing, John Podesta’s brother doesn’t exonerate you or your friends from colluding with Russians and…get the f*ck over your sorry-ass debate losses, you fool…the electoral college stole you an election. Just be happy about it and shut up.

Maybe we’re approaching this idiot wrong. Maybe if we all tell him he’s a wonderful person with the biggliest crowds and giant hands who makes the bestest of deals who we all admire, he’ll just get back to doing the only thing that won’t destroy our country…Playing golf.

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