It’s Time To Stop Trying To Be Nice And Start Trolling The Sh*t Out Of These A-Holes

If you’ve spent any time around our page, you know that we pride ourselves on living the Liberal Troll dream. We’re not here to tell stories you can find on a dozen other blogs, poorly plagiarized from the original source, with twisted headlines and hyperbolic Facebook ledes. We’re here to expose the stupidity of the right wherever possible by focusing not only on their politicians and the non-stop stream of propaganda but from the minions of the faith of modern-day conservatism as well.

We do what we do because we feel it’s important to shine a light on what half of the people who vote in this country are up to. How they think; how they react; what their motives are. These are the things we need to understand if we’re going to stop losing elections. If half of the independents who jumped on the Trump train knew more about the crowd they were about to run with, they’d have bolted away kicking and screaming.

Many liberals have adopted the “high road” approach. They believe if you just tell the truth and present people with facts that all that is good in the universe will prevail. It’s a tactic that has ultimately ended in not only a Republican-controlled Congress and White House but also nearly enough state legislatures and governor’s mansions to ratify a constitutional amendment. Yes, I am aware that a 2/3rds majority is necessary on Capitol Hill for such a thing, but let’s go back in time a year and remind each other of how we’ll be not only keeping the Oval Office but reclaiming the Senate as well.

It’s time to change those tactics. It’s time for liberals to get behind their trolls and spend some time making sure the American voting public knows exactly what the right is all about. They aren’t “conservatives” in the traditional sense, looking for free market solutions, smaller government and checks and balances. They’re ignorant, racist douchebags who spend more time defending their idiotic positions than they do formulating independent thought. Their entire existence is predicated on what Fox news, Breitbart, the Federalist Papers and Donald Trump’s Twitter account have to say today.

Whether you know it or not, you have a dedicated team of Liberal Trolls working for you every day. They are an amazing cross-section of the American public. As someone who has spent years within their ranks watching and learning; laughing and crying, I can tell you from experience that “troll” is no dirty word. They are men and women; young and old. Working and retired; well off and struggling. There are single moms and dads, couples married for decades and even a kid or two here and there looking to follow in their parents’ footsteps or walk away from their ignorance. We are not a bunch of 40-year-old fat guys living in mom’s basement with nothing better to do.

The one thing all Liberal Trolls have in common is loyalty. They are loyal to each other, their cause and their beliefs. They are also real. Most have felt the struggle of poverty at one time or another; many are still there. Trolls are gay. Trolls are straight. Trolls are every color under the rainbow. Trolls are Christian and Muslim and Wiccan and Atheist and really just don’t care if you are too. Trolls are about freedom and the immense price we pay for it. Trolls are about healing the sick, feeding and clothing the poor, putting a roof over the heads of the homeless and most importantly, a fair system of government where equality for all comes first.

There is no Facebook title more noble than “Liberal Troll.” I don’t say that because I consider myself one. I say that because of the company I keep. Dozens of beautiful people, far better than I, who would open their doors to you if you were in need and come to your aid if you were in trouble. They’ll defend your rights to all ends of the earth with the most effective weapon they have: their voice.

Do yourself and your cause a favor and follow the Liberal Trolls of social media. They are brilliant and fun and will show you effective and entertaining ways to show the world just what kind of stupidity we’re up against and what we can do to expose it. Here is a list of some of the best Liberal Trolls currently active on Facebook. Like them and follow them and they will lead you to many, many more:

The Voice of Reason

Mrs. Facts

Sweet Tears of Teabilly Butthurt

Doomsday Jesus

The Black Scorpion

Secret Agent Number Six

Freya’s Valkyries

Peeing On Your Leg

All Your Base

 

And for good measure, even though I don’t do a whole lot of trolling the way the pros I just listed do anymore, I’m Busta Troll.

Join the fun. You won’t be sorry.

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