Let’s Talk About Trump’s Monday Tweetfest Like Adults, Shall We?

Have you seen this crap? The giant traffic cone just can’t help himself. Sometimes the dimwit goes days without tweeting a thing — typically while vacationing on our dime in Florida — only to make up for it with a barrage of stupidity fit for a petulant teenager in the middle of a bad break up. It’s terrifying that this man holds the codes that could end human existence. Actually, it’s terrifying that this man is allowed to think for himself at all, nevermind for the good of a nation.

Now that we’ve gotten the insults out of the way, let’s get to the tweets so we can continue with more insults. I’d love to pretend that there are more reasons for articles like this but really, there just…are not. Alrighty then; here we go. It all started with a series of idiocy once again telling the American numbskull that everything negative about him is fake news and the only reason anyone is talking about Russia is because Clinton lost:


This is about the 413th time The Butternut Bigot has pushed this ridiculous message, reminding the intellectually challenged imps who voted for him not to worry; everything is beautiful in Trumpland. It’s ridiculous nonsensical propaganda that nobody with an IQ over 74 takes seriously, yet he continues tweeting it.

Moving forward, Wikileaks lover, proponent of whistleblowers and Giant Oompa Loompa Donald Trump then went full hypocrite by once again demonizing leaks as evil things that must be prosecuted, since they’re suddenly leaks about him:

Then, just like a puppy who can’t keep focused on the ball long enough to find it and bring it back, he walks around in a circle and delivers a crushing blow to CNN for publishing a poll — which has to be fake unless it says good things about him — tossing in a nice plug for the official propaganda network of the Trump White House:

After being re-focused (cocaine) to the task at hand, which was…ummm…wait…gotta go look back and see just where the f*ck this jackass was headed…Oh, yeah…leaks, Russians and elections. After being refocused on whatever dumbass point he was making, Lord Cheeto dropped this bomb on the Clinton campaign, a non-existent entity that ceased operations months ago:


RELATED: Trump Just Saved Us All From These Freeloading Leeches


You might be asking yourself when we’re going to start talking about these tweets like adults. Sadly, when I started writing that was truly the intention. Unfortunately, as the piece went on it came into contact with reality and regressed right along with it, becoming little more than fodder for your newsfeed by an angry liberal troll.

I’d apologize for the misunderstanding if I didn’t have a good reason. You see, Russia had nothing to do with the election, whoever is leaking classified material is a traitor and the DNC has been potato toaster strudel handkerchief Wednesday. Nonsense, nonsense, utter stupidity followed directly by a declaration of my own greatness and a hat tip to someone who is relevant to absolutely…nothing.

So there…take that. Two can play at that game, but only one of us can sign executive orders and make a Paul Ryan nightmare scenario come true.

Aaaaaand once again I need a phaking drink.

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