Let’s Tell The Republicans How We Really Feel In Their New Online Poll

So the Republican Party, in its never-ending quest for better optics, has created a new online poll asking “real Americans” about our thoughts on their party’s performance so far. If this seems like a mistake to you, it’s because you’re familiar with how Internet culture works.

Should you want to stop reading now and go complete the poll, here’s the link. For the rest of us, let’s take a closer look at what this poll entails — because this is a classic example of how not to design a poll.

Consider this particular question: Are your taxes too high?

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Not, “What do you think of taxes” or “How do you feel about your current tax rate,” but “are your taxes too high.” And the answers are, “Yes,” “No,” and “No Opinion.” There are no bonus points for guessing what the proper answer on this multiple choice test is.

Of course, that’s not the only leading question they have — far from it. Questions like Do you think universities today indoctrinate rather than teach students? and Do you feel that you cannot publically admit that you support Trump? really summarize how difficult it is to be a Republican in the current political climate, and I want to personally apologize to the Republicans. It’s not fair that most people dislike you because you’re trying to steal their health care and livelihoods, and sided with Neo-Nazis and the KKK in 2016 to elect Trump. I fully sympathize with you.

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Other questions, like Do you find the news to be generally too negative/hateful? and Do you think our country is too divided? suggest that the Republican party is at least a few million years away from anything remotely resembling self-awareness.

And then there’s my favorite question: Are you concerned by the potential spread of Sharia Law? Good ol’ fashioned xenophobia — it’s even more all-American than baseball and apple pie.

You can find all this and more in the Republican survey — so, why don’t we all be good, “Real Americans” and tell them how we really feel.

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