Pence Won’t Go To Dinner Without ‘Mother’ And That’s Exactly Why Women Should Just Make Sammiches

So, Mike Pence can’t go to dinner with a woman other than his wife, for whom he creepily calls mother, because he is afraid he will get all hot and bothered in the middle of dinner.

Or, as Jesse McLaren tweets – have a female surgeon because you know. . . *whispers* boners.

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For the conservative dude, a woman’s only purpose is sex. She can fill the other 23 hours and 53 minutes of her day with doing lady things – like cooking, cleaning, popping out babies, watching her stories on the television and, of course, making sure she does everything in her own power to support the men around her who aren’t her husband – so they don’t become aroused in her company. After all women are mere temptresses.

This explains so much about the mentality of conservative men and their desire to control women.

Dress codes for instance. Because these guys can’t keep their own naughty bits under control, they shouldn’t ever be forced to possibly see a little leg or shoulder (or *gasp* cleavage) without going into 13-year-old boy mode. Hence why they focus so much on what women they don’t even know wear. And yoga pants at the grocery store, forget that – they might just be moved enough to follow the lead of their brainless leader and “grab ’em by the pussy.”

Oh yes, this explains so much. It’s all so clear now.

Birth control? Well, clearly women shouldn’t be using such things as it’s far easier for the Republican man to not just fall right into a vagina if they fear they will be bringing a “love child” into the world. And, just like the possessive boyfriend they so wish to be, if they can’t be out there going at it like bunnies, well no one should be!

Women in the work place? These conservative men would much rather work in an environment where boobs weren’t in every meeting. All that cleavage, those two mounds just sitting across the table – eeeehhhh gads, no! Their means to prevent having to walk around with their briefcases in front of their crotches is to keep women at home – barefoot, pregnant and making them plenty of sammiches, just like God wanted.

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Yep, it’s all coming together now.

Well, sorry guys. Believe it or not, we women have our own goals, hopes and dreams and they certainly don’t need to be stifled because you can’t control Mr. Winky. Keep it in your pants. Maybe try to focus on your jobs, holding yourselves accountable for your actions and then perhaps you too may be able to function in a society where you are less concerned about governing what women you don’t even know wear and how they control their own reproductive systems.

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