NOT SATIRE: Edgelord Stephan Bannon Declares ‘Darkness Is Good’ And Idolizes ‘Darth Vader’

As anyone who’s consumed politics will know, Christian Conservatives were the population that carried Trump across the finish line in November. He was their candidate more than he was anyone else’s; they were declaring him a “Cyrus the Great” and that he was slowly finding his way to Jesus in the lead up to the election.

Well, according to Trump’s new chief of staff, that was all for naught. Stephan Bannon, in addition to being one of those middle-aged men who tries way to hard to be “bad ass,” revealed today that he thinks “darkness is good” and that at least considers Satan and Darth Vader to be things that he looks up to.

No, I’m not kidding. While speaking with the Hollywood Reporter, Bannon declared:

“Darkness is good. Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. That’s power. It only helps us when they get it wrong. When they’re blind to who we are and what we’re doing.”

Be careful around this dude’s edge; you’ll slice your finger open. It’s like he’s trying to sound like a supervillain.

Did he just claim that Satan is good because Satan represents power? Yes, yes this bargain basement Machiavelli did. Y’all did a bang up job with this one, right-wing Christians.

You know who else like darkness? Cockroaches like darkness. Mold likes darkness. Feral rats like darkness. If Tyler Durden here wants to be associated with all those things, more power to him; he’s in proper company, at least. I hope liberals, moderates, and conservatives who are horrified with what America has unleashed on itself bring the spotlights, because there shouldn’t be a place one for him to hide.

Over the course of the interview, Trump’s very own hardcore edgelord also said that he wasn’t a “white nationalist,” he was an “economic nationalist.”

So what is an economic nationalist? Here’s the Nietzsche-wannabe himself to explain:

“Like [Andrew] Jackson’s populism, we’re going to build an entirely new political movement. It’s everything related to jobs. The conservatives are going to go crazy. I’m the guy pushing a trillion-dollar infrastructure plan. With negative interest rates throughout the world, it’s the greatest opportunity to rebuild everything. Ship yards, iron works, get them all jacked up. We’re just going to throw it up against the wall and see if it sticks. It will be as exciting as the 1930s, greater than the Reagan revolution — conservatives, plus populists, in an economic nationalist movement.”

Not mentioned is that Jackson left an economic disaster in Van Buren’s lap. Also left unsaid is the reason why I call him “Genocidal Jackson” or “Andrew Jackass” — the Trail of Tears and the Manifest Destiny. Bannon isn’t stupid; he knows these are things associated with Genocidal Jackass and that’s why he invoked the man’s name; he and others like him would give their left arms (not their right arms; otherwise, they’d never get off) for a chance to do it again. We’ve already got Trump surrogates saying internment camps are a precedent for future policy. Concentration camps are one step away from extermination camps.

Bannon wants to regard himself as an entity apart from right and left wing politics, which should be throwing up some major red flags — the last political philosophy that tried this was fascism, which branded itself a “third position” between decadent capitalism and decadent communism, borrowing left-wing economic ideas with right-wing reactionary social policies. Of course, “fascism” isn’t very marketable these days outside of a few losers on the Internet, so it ends up rebranded — giving us things like “economic nationalist” and whatever the hell Richard Spencer is calling himself this week — all in the name of political correctness.

I’m not sure I’d consider the 1930s to be exciting — Bannon isn’t so naive that he doesn’t realize the 1930s were the lead up to World War II and some of the worst years of the Great Depression. Those weren’t “exciting.”

Unless, of course, you’re some sort of edgelord who thinks the Nazis were cool and Darth Vader and Satan are things to aspire too — which Stephan “Dark Helmet” Bannon clearly does.


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