As the presidential race is winding down to its last days, Donald Trump is on a non-stop offensive to bring down Clinton and win. As part of that offensive, Trump is bringing out racist, misogynist one-hit-wonder Ted Nugent to “help.”
Nugent will reportedly be joining Trump in Michigan for a Sunday night rally — two proverbial “peas in a pod.” Comedian Patton Oswalt retweeted Guardian reporter Ben Jacobs’ announcement of the event:
Trump who is describing Clinton’s celebrity endorsements as “demeaning to the political process” will appear with Ted Nugent tomorrow
— Ben Jacobs (@Bencjacobs) November 6, 2016
That apparently caused Oswalt to wonder what the conversation might be like between the candidate and the washed-up rocker, specifically over how Nugent would like to be introduced.
“So when I intro you, do I say ‘literally shit his pants to avoid Vietnam’ or ‘child fucker’?”
Ted Nugent: “Just say ‘patriot'”
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 6, 2016
Along with the racism and misogyny, Vietnam and child sex are other things Trump and Nugent allegedly have in common. As far as Vietnam goes, there’s no doubt: Trump received five deferments from the draft, including one for bone spurs in his feet. Nugent once told a newspaper that he literally relieved himself in his pants as part of his successful effort to avoid Vietnam service.
The child sex bit is a little murkier. What we do know is that Trump was accused of raping a 13-year-old girl. But that girl, now an adult, recently dropped her suit against the GOP candidate. In 1978 Nugent, 30 at the time, became the legal guardian of a 17-year-old girl, with her parents’ consent, so he could have sex with her. There are also his songs, like “Jailbait,” which features these lines:
Well, I don’t care if you’re just 13
You look too good to be true
I just know that you’re probably clean…
Jailbait you look fine, fine, fine…
Oswalt’s tweet has provoked some beautiful reactions, but none better than this one:
@pattonoswalt “Clinton using celebs is demeaning to the process. Jay Z uses bad words. Now here’s Ted to sing ‘Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.'”
— Dan Gross (@Dan_Gross) November 6, 2016
Should be a hot time in Michigan, especially if there are any 13-year-old girls in the audience.