Pew-Pew Patriot Ex-GOP Governor Is Now Dancing For Money With Vanilla Ice

Former Texas Governor and Hair Club For Men poster boy, Rick Perry, has hit rock bottom in politics. So, now he’s going to be two-stepping for cash on the next season of Dancing With The Stars.

Perry will be competing along side other celebrities of equivalent relevance, such as Vanilla Ice. Talk about serious star power.


Perry self-describes as the “least experienced dancer that’s going to be on this program,” in comments to The Texas Tribune. He was contacted by the show’s producers 6 weeks ago, and at first declined their offer. “My first response was not really, this was way outside of my silo of my interests, knowledge, experience,” Perry said.

Later, perhaps after looking at his remaining money-making opportunities, Perry reconsidered and agreed to join the cast. He claimed that it’s about putting veterans’ stories in front of a prime-time audience. His strategy is to explain during the show how our veterans allow us to do “cool things” like be a dancing former Texas governor. Ok, Rick….


Normally, Republicans use excuses like “I was drunk,” or “It’s Obama’s fault,” when they do stupid stuff. Perry may be the first one that uses veterans as his excuse for being one more long-barrel laughing stock in the extensively large gun rack of Republican public embarrassment.

Helping vets is great. Really, it is. But … he’s going on a reality TV dancing competition. If he actually wanted to help our vets, working at a veterans organization or charity would be a better way to do it.

Instead, he’s dancing on TV and claiming it’s for our service men and women. I’m not sure the veterans on food stamps and without adequate healthcare will feel a sudden sense of empowerment by seeing a foxtrotting advertisement for Just For Men name-dropping them during prime time, but hey — I could be wrong.

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