Poor Lil’ Donnie Doesn’t Think Life Is Fair

We’ve all been privy to the whiny 140-character rants of Lord Cheeto on Twitter. They’re a daily occurrence. We’re used to the Butternut Bigot complaining about “fake news” whenever the media reports on the things he says. We’ve grown accustomed to his ego taking credit for anything positive that happens in our country not because of but in spite of his tyrannical ideals.

That’s why one of this morning’s tweets was so satisfying. It shows that Mango Mussolini’s world is crumbling and that he’s feeling the pressure of a country that despises him:

Waaaaaah!!!! No matter how many times I take credit for jobs that were negotiated years ago or the continued economic recovery orchestrated by my predecessor, nobody likes me!!!

The “ridiculous standard” of the first 100 days is something all modern presidents have to endure. It’s the litmus test the nation uses to see if thir newly-elected president can stand up to their campaign promises and still govern effectively. Unfortunately for the giant orange traffic cone, he has failed miserably on both counts.

His campaign promises are a bust. There will be no wall. The Iran nuclear deal stands. Obamacare is the law of the land. The swamp has been filled with ferocious new monsters. NAFTA is intact. Sure, he tried to implement a Muslim ban, but that goes to governing, yet another Trump failure. On every front, he’s a giant belly flop into the shallow pool of disappointment.

He can’t do anything right. In spite of all of his criticism of Obama’s golfing, he jets off on Air Force One every weekend to have the taxpayer pay his resort to feed and house him and his entourage. What is truly ridiculous isn’t the expectations of the first 100 days, it’s the guy living it.

The bottom line is, the Pumkinheaded Prick is cut out to have a bunch of money to lose and a bunch of people to screw over. While he may have figured the American people and the federal budget would be perfect victims of the Trump philosophy of failure, he was wrong. There are 300 million people who are now waiting with baited breath to see what he can possibly screw up next, hoping the economy can make it until he’s defeated in 2020 or impeached for stupidity.

And yet, with the lowest approval ratings of a first quarter president since the recording of approval ratings, with all of the criticism and all of the broken promises and all of the shattered dreams of his own followers, still he manages to blame others. My mother always told me that if you seem to have an issue with everyone you come in contact with, the issue is you. Such simple logic.

The issue is you, Donnie…deal with it.

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