Republicans Think Obama Plans To Hack Online Elections That Don’t Exist In America

Conservatives found out our plan. They busted it wide open on the completely credible news website Newsmax. What’s the plan, you ask? Did you not get the memo?

President Obama is going to give away our internet to the international community, which will allow him and his socialist Kenyan allies to hack the election by engaging in voter fraud.

I wasn’t even aware that you could vote online (you can’t). But, it doesn’t matter if you can or if you can’t. Republicans want to bitch about Obama and that’s all that matters. As a result, all those online votes that will literally never exist in 2016 are going to be changed to Hillary. Hell, maybe they’ll be changed to Obama! 3rd term anyone?

Tom DeLay admitted that he’s so technically ignorant that he barely knows how to turn on his computer — but he still knows that all the votes that will not be cast online are still going to be hacked. He said so in the interview below with equally technically challenged J.D. Hayworth.

You may be wondering what caused all this fuss. It’s because of a non-profit called ICANN. ICANN operates what is called the Security and Stability Advisory Committee. The SSAC is an advisory board that recommends best practices for security, efficient operation, and reliability of different aspects of our internet infrastructure.

ICANN and the SSAC have nothing to do with the actual security of domains connected to the internet. They manage databases of information that allow you to access different websites online, but their role ends at the front door. It would be like blaming a phone book for letting a burglar break into your home by showing him the address of your house.

RELATED: Remember That Time Dubya Lost 5 Million Emails And Nobody So Much As Flinched?

This entire non-issue stems from ICANN’s functions transitioning to a more internationally-controlled, coordinated effort. What used to be more of an American-only thing is now going to have a bit more involvement of other nations, so this means that it’s somehow destroying our freedom.

The ultimate joke here is that these two idiots act like hacking doesn’t happen now, and only this changeover will suddenly allow it to happen — all because of that damned OBAMA who hates America and freedom.

Watch 2 Republican technology experts below :

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