Rush Limbaugh recently broke the story of Obama’s terrible new plot to destroy America over the radio. The alert sent many conservatives across the nation into their basement bunkers like scared rabbits.
Here’s what Limbaugh said:
Have you heard the latest Democrat scam? Have you heard about the agriculture department’s financial grants to lesbian farmers? You think I’m making this up? See, this is how they do it.
Rural America happens to be largely conservative. Rural America is made up of self-reliant, rugged individualist types. They happen to be big believers in the Second Amendment. So here comes the Obama Regime with a bunch of federal money and they’re waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they’ll set you up. I’m like you; I never before in my life knew that lesbians wanted to be farmers.
I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. But apparently enough money can make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states. They’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. They’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march.
It sounds so stupid that it’s almost impossible to believe someone actually said it, but he did. We even verified it.
The Department of Agriculture hosted an event called The Iowa LGBT Rural Summit on Aug 18th. The purpose was to help educate people on the policies, programs and services that exist to help LGBT people who live in rural communities.
Among the topics discussed were things like rural housing loans, community grants and options for LGBT people who are being harassed. No big deal, right? It isn’t like rural America has never gotten federal assistance, advice or money before.
It is a big deal. It is a big deal to Rush Limbaugh because if the corn grown by lesbian farmers ends up as the ethanol used in his SUV’s gasoline, that will make his vehicle gay. It will mean he’s gay too. Rush Limbaugh can’t allow himself to be turned gay by Obama and his lesbian farmer army.
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If you’re a farmer and you’re reading this somewhere in the Midwest, my best advice to you is to put TVs in every window of your house and turn Fox News on full blast. This should create an effective barrier against the LGBT people until you can call your local Republican committee to have them collected and relocated in California.