Sean Hannity Thinks He Just Spotted Barack Obama Pretending To Wash His Windows And Spying On Him

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — This week, Fox News Host Sean Hannity was being interviewed by a right-wing podcast when he says he caught former President Barack Obama posing as a window washer outside his office, a set of headphones over his ears and a high-tech microphone pressed to the glass.

“So the president and I were in the Lincoln bedroom,” Hannity was telling the show’s hosts, “with the Golden Showers Gals, as we call them, when all of a sudden I – Wait! Wait a minute! Who the hell is that washing my windows? I don’t recognize him!”

Hannity told the podcast’s hosts he had to “pause the interview” while he described the situation to listeners.

“There is a man out there pretending to clean my windows,” Hannity explained, “but he’s got some kind of high-tech listening equipment and I swear folks, this is Barack HUSSEIN Obama. I can just tell.”

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Hannity has been tweeting for weeks that he was swept up in surveillance that he believes Obama ordered on President Donald Trump. While the president has made several accusations of such ordered, targeted, politically-based surveillance against his predecessor, no evidence as of yet has been provided. That lack of evidence has not stopped Mr. Hannity from promulgating the idea that Obama did in fact spy on Trump.

Mr. Hannity has long been one of Trump’s biggest supporters, though he has at times curiously denied the well-documented relationship the two men have. As Hannity screamed and yelled about “that secret Kenyan Muslim” using “Sharia Voodoo” to disguise himself as a window washer, the podcast’s audience was treated to a play by play of Hannity’s thoughts and emotions.

“It just has to be the Tyrant King himself,” Hannity declared, “who else would so brazenly attempt to spy on me in this fashion? Come here! COME HERE SIR!”

Hannity opened his window and started shouting at the window washer. He demanded the man speak to him and produce credentials.

“Sir, I know who you are sir,” Hannity bellowed, “and you can’t get away with this. Show me your face, Obama!”

The window washer removed his protective eye and face coverings. Hannity went suddenly quiet. It wasn’t President Obama. Hannity still wanted to confirmation, he told the podcast hosts, so he questioned the man in front of him.

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“Oh, it’s just…you’re just,” Sean was reaching for the words, “a regular urban then? You’re not…you’re not…him, are you?”

The window washer told him that in fact he was Miguel Estrada, a Hispanic, not African-American, man. He’d been working maintenance for Fox News for years, and had even personally helped Hannity open a stuck desk drawer six months ago. Hannity said he couldn’t remember him because, “You all look the same to me, kinda.”

“Did Obama send you here,” Mr. Hannity was peppering Miguel with questions, “have you ever met him? Did you vote for him? Are you here legally?”

Mr. Estrada eventually told Hannity he had to get back to work.

“Fine, but I’m not starting the interview back up until I check the microwave,” Hannity said, “my Hot Pocket’s just about done I think. I’m going to go get it and – HOLY SHIT! Joe Biden’s in there, looking at me!”

This is a developing story.

Follow James on Twitter @JamboSchlarmbo.

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