Secret Service ‘Aware’ Trump Is A Violence Inciting Buffoon

When New Hampshire State Representative Al Baldasaro said Hillary Clinton “should be put in the firing line and shot for treason,” the Secret Service opened an investigation. That’s their job. But when Hair Furor blew his ‘Hillary is comin’ fer yer gunz’ dog whistle for any mentally unstable Branch Trumpidian within earshot today — nothing. “The U.S. Secret Service is aware of the comments.” Peachy.

This is nothing new. When Donald Trump finds himself in a negative press cycle, he changes the subject — usually by saying something outrageous. If you are offended by something he’s said, he’ll blame the victim. If he can’t find a target for his ire, then it must be a dishonest media putting words in his mouth, or ideas into your head.

See, this was the week that the campaign was to begin in earnest. Republicans, and Trump (see what I did there?) assured us that he can act “presidential.” All he needs is a bit of coaching and a teleprompter. Republican leadership even sponsored an intervention of sorts with their candidate. They were going to get him on message — and ignore suggestions he should just drop out now.

For days they softened the ground, calling in every media favor owed, touting his “major economic speech” in Detroit on Monday. The opportunity was tailor-made to help Trump break away from his carnival sideshow primary clown image — to emerge as a serious contender for the White House — by stretching his legs as an economic wunderkind.

Sadly, he got fact-checked in real-time and reaffirmed what we already knew: he’s a doofus. Absent Donald’s stream-of-consciousness braggadocio, flitting from topic-to-topic mid-sentence whenever a screaming baby or “my African-American” come into hazy focus to interrupt his train of thought, he’s really rather boring.

So today he went right back to the schtick that’s gotten him this far in the race — tossing out red meat for the Trump Chumps, saying “Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish the 2nd Amendment.” No, no, NO. False. Four Pinocchios. Pants on Fire. STFU, you bloviating Tangerine Tornado (h/t Dana Carvey). But the key word is “essentially.” That’s the weasel word — the one he’s using to grease of the wheels of the lie cannon. It’s a get-out-of-jail-free card for everyone on the communications staff.

Not content to just repeat the talking point from his yawn-worthy RNC acceptance speech, he decided to take the idea out for a spin in North Carolina, saying, “By the way [and with those three little words, “by the way,” Trump’s staff knows he’s off-script, and they’re reaching for the Tums®] … “and if she gets to pick — if she gets to pick her judges — nothing you can do folks. Although the 2nd Amendment people, maybe there is. I don’t know.”

I don’t know. Maybe there is. If something were to happen, God forbid, maybe the shooter was just trying to impress Jodi Foster. I don’t know. Maybe the Cheeto-Dusted Bankruptcy Expert has IBS and his KFC double-meal deal was backing up on him. Maybe he’s a pandering phony who can’t get out three sentences without sticking one of his Salvatore Ferragamo’s into his mouth.

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