Someone Has Hacked Donald Trump’s Social Media Accounts

Donald Trump’s social media accounts have been hacked. Experts inside the White House Technology Office are saying that the culprits seem to be a group of children ranging in age from about four-years-old to maybe eleven or twelve, depending on what is being posted:

Sometimes we see short bursts of desperation and shame and sometimes it’s just garbled nonsense nobody understands. Either way it’s definitely someone with the mentality of an angry, petulant child.

The only thing anyone can agree on is that the takeover occurred sometime in 2007 and they still haven’t figured out who’s behind it. “Look at the ridiculous posts,” said Jeff Derpinger, Director of the White House Office of Information and Propaganda. “Surely Trump can’t be held responsible for the things he — umm — these kids do with his accounts.”

Those clever kids…they keep making Trump look stupid by trying to convince America that the only reason anyone cares that our president is in cahoots with Russia is because Hillary Clinton lost. They make him look like a megalomaniacal narcissist by finding things he’s not responsible for and taking credit in his name. Just last week the jobs report, which the kids have been calling “fake news” for the months leading up to the inauguration, was rolled out as the biggest, bestest, most amazing accomplishment of all time when in reality it’s just another month of growth we can attribute to Obama’s final fiscal year.

Why haven’t we heard of the hacking until now if it’s been going on this long? According to Derpinger, it has something to do with Hillary Clinton’s emails. A new investigation should shed some light on it.

The kids haven’t been identified but rest assured…they are out there. Who the hell else would retweet the Drudge Report?

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