Thanksgiving With Trumper Relatives? Here Are 9 Must Have Items For Your Feast

Thanksgiving Day is one of those love it or hate it holidays. That classification is mostly determined by who makes the invite list or if you really can’t stand eating turkey or turkey related foods. While I am one of the fortunate ones who will not experience the presence of Trumpers at my Turkey Day meal, I know I’m likely a minority.

Unfortunately, for many families this year, there is going to be a mighty big (orange) elephant in the room if the attendee list includes those who voted for President-Elect Whiney Pants. So, here is a list of items you may add to your last-minute shopping list to troll the hell out of your right-wing uncle Harold.

1. Cheetos. Duh.

Image via Wikipedia
Image via Wikipedia

2. Kitty Napkins

So everyone can grab a pussy (and hopefully not any others).

Image via Amazon
Image via Amazon

3. Educated Democrat Flask

Hand this out to the relatives you actually like and make sure it’s filled with Everclear (because it’s the strongest).

Image via CafePress
Image via CafePress

4. Goya Cola Champagne

Because it’s orange and fancy.
Bonus: It’s obtained from the ethnic food section of the grocery store, which will really chap their asses.

Image via Flickr/Mike Mozart
Image via Flickr/Mike Mozart

5. Vienna Sausages

They are Chief Cheeto Little Fingers approved.

Image via Walgreens
Image via Walgreens

6. Fresh Oranges

For obvious reasons, as well as taking care of some early holiday shopping. During the Great Depression, Santa placed oranges in Christmas stockings because other sweet treats were simply too expensive to buy.

Oh yes, that will Make America Great Again.

Image via Wikipedia
Image via Wikipedia

7. Lady Fingers

Because, why the hell not?

Image via Wikipedia
Image via Wikipedia

8. Tofurky

Even if it’s just so you can set the box on the kitchen counter to see the looks on their faces when they think they will be eating vegetarian Thanksgiving “turkey.”

Image via thegrocerygirls
Image via thegrocerygirls

9. Black Friday Ads And A List Of Store Opening Times

To encourage an eat and run situation. Oh look, JCPenney opens at 3 p.m. on Thanksgiving Day. I bet they will have SUPER sales!

Image via screen capture from theblackfriday.com
Image via screen capture from theblackfriday.com

Happy Thanksgiving! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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