Do you have trouble meeting people with romantic intent on your mind? Does it all go really well — your eyes meet, you buy him or her a drink, you walk down to the end of the bar, and that’s when he or she runs screaming because you were exercising your 2nd Amendment Rights with that huge assault rifle you have hanging from your back?
A great new dating site for people who think the trigger finger is a sex organ has just arrived, and it’s looking for new members. Concealedcarrymatch.com offers heavy caliber romantic interludes for low low prices.
If you’re a serious player, you can sign up for an entire year of action for a blockbuster deal of $150. If you only want to see who you can convince to have your first date inside your home bunker, you can test the waters for a mere $10 dollars.
Does any of this sounds exciting to you yet? If it does, I have some bad news for you.
The site has the usual options, I’m a “man/woman” seeking a “man/woman.” If you are a woman looking for a man, you’re in luck because there’s already 188 profiles full of cowboy hats, belt buckles, guns, and all kinds of true American peacockery for you to take a gander at.
If you’re a guy looking for a girl, well, I hope you are a master player because so far there are only 22 women to choose from. Not only that, but something tells me they are not all legitimate accounts so buyer beware as they say. Note, these numbers are accurate at the time of this writing, but are subject to change — so don’t give up hope dudes.
If you’re a gay woman, when we checked there was one match, so let’s hope you hit it off. If you’re a gay man, just go find another site. There’s nothing for you there at all.
We even saw an account that said the guy was from Nigeria. Maybe he could be your Nigerian Prince, ladies. Just make sure he picks up the check after dinner, because we’ve been sending him a LOT of American money via email for the past several years.
They even have their own Twitter account. Can you believe it?
— ConcealedCarryMatch (@OfficialCCMatch) September 13, 2016
— ConcealedCarryMatch (@OfficialCCMatch) August 27, 2016
They take out the “drama” of meeting someone for the first time who you know could kill you if you scare them a little too much and they have to stand their ground. The irony.
They even have a “dating safety tips” section. On a dating site where everyone will be guaranteed to be carrying a deadly weapon…..
WE STRONGLY SUGGEST:
1. YOU GET TO KNOW SOMEONE BEFORE YOU MEET THEM OFFLINE.
2. ALWAYS MEET THEM IN A PUBLIC PLACE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
3. TELL A FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND WHERE YOU ARE MEETING.
Apparently, the site itself does not trust in the saying “An armed society is a polite society,” because they’re very very VERY explicit about how if you get shot to death because you sneezed wrong and someone experienced an attack of acute patriotism, it ain’t their fault.