In 2011, Donald Trump was roasted at an event on Comedy Central. As part of the production for the episode, he submitted a list of topics beforehand which were allowed, or not allowed, to be joked about by the attendees.
Here are the things and people Donald does not care about.
- ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump’s hair
- ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump’s wife Melania (and his two previous marriages)
- ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump having sex with models
- ALLOWED: Jokes about the failure of Trump Steaks, Trump Water, Trump Cologne, and other Trump products
- ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump’s failed casinos
- ALLOWED: Jokes about how Trump only became successful thanks to his wealthy father
- ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump’s weight
- ALLOWED: Jokes about Trump being attracted to his daughter Ivanka (WTF?)
Then there’s the list of what’s not allowed.
- NOT ALLOWED: Any joke that suggests Trump is not actually as wealthy as he claims to be
Thats all. This is the the only thing that Trump feels is too sensitive a topic about which to make the most personal, insulting and vulgar jokes. This is what we can’t use to insult him — his money.
To put this into perspective, you can call Trump a flabby withered failure of a man who has a family of dead foxes for hair. You can say he rents his wives, while being unable to successfully keep any business enterprise of his from falling into failure and bankruptcy. You can say that he was only kept from being some homeless lunatic who eats from dumpsters and waves his private parts at passing cars by the fact his daddy left him money ….. but if you suggest he isn’t worth exactly every penny he says he is, he’ll probably sue you.
Oh, and you can also suggest that he wants to have sex with his own daughter. He doesn’t care about that. And you can insult both her and his wife in whatever way you want. He still doesn’t care.
This really says it all. Doesn’t it? The ONLY thing Trump cares about is the pile of money he sits on while pretending he’s Scrooge McDuck. His wives aren’t important. His own daughter isn’t important. A lifetime of catastrophic bankruptcy following him like some kind of gypsy curse, he could not care less about. What the hell is wrong with this guy?
I get it. Roasts are serious business. They’re offensive, and not for the faint of heart so you shouldn’t expect a soft touch, but when you place your money over your own wife and daughter, well … that just means you’re a total A-hole.