The Dumbest, Most Hypocritical Tweets From Trump’s Wild Debate Night Twitter Ride

When Donald Trump announced he would be live-tweeting during the vice-presidential debate Tuesday night, it was fairly easy to guess what would happen. “Kaine terrible. Pence will make America great again. Kaine no different than crooked Hillary” and blah blah blah; typical Donald Trump.

What we didn’t expect, when maybe we should have, was how he would spend 90 minutes tweeting and re-tweeting insults that did nothing more than sum up his own performance at the first presidential debate, declaring Tim Kaine grossly incompetent for exhibiting the same behavior, but in a much milder, more…presidential…way.

Here’s the timeline of idiocy laid out by the Cheeto in charge of deplorables:

If you’re gonna live-tweet to the ignorant, you have to start with their battle cry: BENGHAZI!!! And now, let the hypocrisy begin:

You mean like the non-stop stream that you told during your debate? How many was it, Trumplestiltskin? 61? And YOU wan to talk about angry? We weren’t 5 minutes in and it was obvious this was going to be pure, ignorant hypocrisy.

Why is that, Donald? Because he interrupted Pence or because he didn’t do it as loudly and voraciously as you did to Clinton?

Way to not engage in the politics of insults your running mate was just talking about. And did it never occur to you that you’re not exactly one to talk about appearances with your anus mouth, horrible combover, 1993 spray tan and creepy, tiny hands? Yes, that was a slew of insults. No, I’m not running for president.

But…you acknowledge that they actually have plans, something your campaign is void of.

By “bull” you mean he wants to know why you’re hiding your tax returns. As for likeable, you could take lessons from Tim Kaine and probably increase the number of people who actually think you’ll win at the next debates. Those awesome online polls will probably show a massive surge, too.

Mid-debate battle cry. BENGHAZI!!!

Yes, Tim Kaine was governor of his state from 2006-2010, during an economic crash and recession while Pence benefited from the recovery you think is such a “disaster.” Which is it, Donald?

Maybe you should see if he’s allowed to pinch-hit for you in the next debate. You know, the one you’ve already declared will be all about important things like Bill Clinton in the 1990s.

Oh, man…what did he do? He didn’t call them rapists and murderers, did he? Did he talk about what losers they are and demand that they be stopped and frisked for the color of their skin? Or maybe they just practice the wrong religion. That’s sure to piss off some white people.

That’s because the entire election process is rigged, haven’t you heard? You should probably jot that down in your little notebook to be used for your post-election reality show: “Trump–How I won the hearts of assholes and lost the White House.”

I don’t think you quite understand what “won big” means. You declared that you “won big.” How did that work out for you? What happened here is Mike Pence definitely had a better night than Tim Kaine, in a vice-presidential debate that won’t move the needle currently on the rise towards a Clinton presidency after the humiliation you were served at Hofstra. You see, Donald, the only thing this debate proved was that Mike Pence, as reprehensible he is, would make a much better president than you. We look forward to him debating incumbent Hillary Clinton in 2020, long after you’ve been relegated to the role of “the next Sarah Palin.”

Maybe you should take up moose hunting now.

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