The Twitter Whining Officially Began Early Thursday Morning…

And so it begins. Poor Lord Cheeto, being the mostest oppresseded person of all time, has begun crying about the injustice that is his misunderstood life and reputation. Never mind that he stole an election by playing to the whims of insufferable douchebags everywhere. That under-appreciated Butternut Bigot deserves the dignity and respect owed to the office he holds…dagnabit!

Only he doesn’t. He’s a joke. He makes the Rock’s announcement of an actual presidential run sound legitimate, which is nothing short of sad. We are on our way to celebrity government run by Brawndo and it’s frightening as hell.

But your feelings, Donnie. Your feelings:

No. The Clintons and Obamas have never been accused of or investigated by anyone. Special counsel? Thank your lucky stars, you moron…Hillary and Obama got Darrell Issa and Trey f*cking Gowdy. Gowdy had to turn down the FBI job because he’d have to be a non-partisan and decent human being, which is not in his playbook.

Yes, much bigger than the whole “BENGHAZI!” fiasco or the email discussion to nowhere. Nobody has ever been accused of 40 murders or of being from a different country or anything. Frivolous and silly conspiracy stories are what the right does, Commander Carrot. You did this. You caused this. Because you’re a knucklehead who can’t keep his anusface shut.

My dog has earned more respect from the skunks in my neighborhood than you’ll earn in your entire tenure in the office you’re currently dismantling.

You’re an idiot, Donald. Thanks for taking to twitter so early to remind us. It makes the day go a little bit smoother.

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