White House official Sean Spicer resigned today, announcing that he was officially through with the Trump Administration. And while time will tell if his replacement will provide the quality entertainment that Spicer himself did, let’s take this moment to reflect back on the achievements of Sean Spicer, and his top 10 greatest hits.
#10: Spicer Almost Tells the Truth
This seems like a good place to start.
So how exactly did he almost tell the truth? While making a claim that the president was very “authoritative,” he had a bit of a Freudian nightgown moment and instead said, “the president is very authoritarian.”
Naturally, he caught himself, but it was too late: he’d confirmed what much of the free world already knew. Of course, this confirmation was as close as his relationship with the truth ever got — as we’re about to see.
#9: That Time He Admitted He was a Liar on Accident
Back in January, the Onion published a piece on Spicer noting that Spicer’s role was to supply the American public with “robust and clearly articulated misinformation.”
And the man himself agreed, noting in a tweet: “Nailed it, period!”
Nailed it indeed.
#8: The President Deigns to Acknowledge the Victims of the Holocaust
Also in January, Spicer held a disastrous press conference. This one was different from all the other disastrous press conferences because in a statement regarding Holocaust Remembrance day, Spicer said Trump went out of his way to mention the victims.
It was mighty big of him, if you ask me, mentioning the victims of the Holocaust on Holocaust Remembrance Day. How thoughtful.
Related: After His Meltdown Today, We Thought We’d Give You The Funniest Spicey Memes Of All Time. Period.
#7: What The Hell is that in Your Teeth?
During a disastrous March press conference, Spicer went live with his usual set of lies. What stood out in this situation, though, was . . . well, as near as I can tell, nobody quite figured out what the hell it was in his teeth.
— Ride North America (@RideNrthAmerica) March 27, 2017
#6: Perhaps it Was A Piece of Word Salad With Russian Dressing
Early in February, Spicer delivered some Palinesque post-English when questioned regarding how his boss was going to prevent homegrown terrorism. In a spectacular move of rhetorical jiujitsu, executed with all the grace of a stoned and drunk albatross, he managed to somehow change “homegrown terrorism” into “be scared of brown people coming across the borders!”
Or, rather, that’s what I think he might have been saying. Like the stuff that was in his teeth a month later, it was really anyone’s guess.
#5: But Hitler Didn’t Use Chemical Weapons
During a disastrous April press conference (are you noticing a trend here?) regarding Syria’s use of chemical weapons, Spicer noted of chemical weapons:
You look, we didn’t use chemical weapons in World War II. You know, you had a, someone as despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons.
It was a good thing, too. I understand the Zyklon B is a dangerous chemical that could kill millions.
#4: Spicer Can’t Internet
In addition to tweeting out his Twitter password, Spicer is famous for having left his Venmo account open to the public. Venmo is essentially an app where you can send and receive money — and the result was predictable: thousands of people from all over the country asking him for money to pay for everything from M&Ms to a Bowling Green bowling league.
I think my personal favorite was the individual who requested money for anxiety meds because “your boss is a lunatic.”
#3: Trolled by the NYT
Spicer’s hostile relationship with the media was pretty obvious from the beginning — which made it all the more glorious when New York Times reporter Glenn Thrush smashed the Spicey one in just five words after Spicer was being especially prissy and huffy during a March press conference:
Sean, stop shaking your head…
— Glenn Thrush (@GlennThrush) March 29, 2017
#2: A Spicer in the Hand Is Worth Two in the Bush
And then there’s this glorious, too-good-to-be-true moment:
White House press secretary Sean Spicer wrapped up his brief interview with Fox Business from the White House grounds late Tuesday night and then disappeared into the shadows, huddling with his staff behind a tall hedge. To get back to his office, Spicer would have to pass a swarm of reporters wanting to know why President Trump suddenly decided to fire the FBI director.
That’s right — to escape from the press, the White House Press Secretary hid in the bushes. You can’t make this stuff up — but fortunately, Spicer can.
#1: Spicer Facts
President Trump’s inauguration was one of the smallest in recent memory, probably because he’s one of the most unpopular democratically elected officials in human history. Still, Trump felt it was important to note that he was popular, so in his very first press conference, Spicer went out of his way to make sure we all knew it was the largest crowd in history.
This, of course, was a lie, and it led to the famous Twitter hashtag #spicerfacts.
So as you can see, we’ve had plenty of good times with the man. He’s given us memes, jokes, and laughs. And, now that he’s gone, we’ll get a chance to look back wistfully at this period, and wonder where it went.
But until then, in the famous words of a cartoon pig: