CLEM FALLS, TENNESSEE — Sixty-three year old lifelong Republican Chet McWilliams told his podcast audience this week that he will be taking some time off from recording new episodes to undergo an experimental new surgery.
“Apparently folks,” Chet told his Right With God audience this week, “the doctors think I have a condition called Obama Derangement Syndrome. What happens is this part in my brain that controls what I think about and who I blame for things gets stuck on one person in particular, this case being Barack HUSSEIN Obama, and all I can do is fixate on him.”
Chet said that the diagnosis came as a shock to him. He couldn’t believe that not everyone on Planet Earth felt that Barack Obama was the worst president who ruined everything he touched like he does. He was further shocked when doctors told him that from January 20th, 2017 forward, he should be only holding President Donald Trump responsible for the things Trump does wrong.
“Can you believe this,” an exasperated Chet asked his audience, “they’re sitting there with a straight face, telling me that it’s a sign of something wrong with me that I can’t admit it when a guy I voted for fucks-up. How ridiculous is that? But I’m here to tell you folks, it might just be true.”
Doctors showed Mr. McWilliams scans of his brain that showed a big, dark spot on his brain.
“The spot is shaped like the golden arches,” Chet said, “you know, like from McDonald’s? Except the arches are made out of AR-15 rounds and there’s a crucifix and American flag behind it. They called it the GOP-spot, whatever that is. And they said that dark cloud is why I can’t quit blaming Obama for things Trump did wrong.”
Blaming the Obama White House for General Michael Flynn having to be fired for lying to Vice President Mike Pence about his contacts with Russian officials in the transition into power is one example, Chet said, of his Obama Derangement Syndrome.
“Apparently,” Chet said, “people who aren’t delusional about politics know that it’s up to the people who hire someone to fully vet them, and that blaming it on the previous guy is what’s called passing the buck, or whatever. But I’d never heard that term before, so it could just be liberal lies.”
Regardless of his apprehensions about the diagnosis, Chet says he’s going to have the surgery performed anyway. He is going to wait, however, until Trumpcare is passed.
“I’m just excited,” Chet said, “because unlike cancer, cerebral palsy, HIV, or pregnancy, being an idiot isn’t considered a pre-existing condition! So my surgery would be free.”
Donald Trump was the least popularly elected president in U.S. History and lost to Hillary Clinton in the popular vote count by more than three million votes.
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