F*ck you, Sean Hannity…F*ck you. You’re a horrible excuse for a human being. Your one redeeming quality was that Alan Colmes liked you. You deserve to be humiliated at every turn for being a conspiracy theorist pile of dung the likes of which the world has never known. Well…you and Alex Jones.
As a purveyor of how the conservatives on your newsfeed with be thinking this week; the guy who writes their “news,” death hoaxes are a specialty. I’ve killed many, many people in the virtual world of political fiction that is Facebook, including Tucker Carlson, George Soros, Monica Lewinsky’s son who doesn’t exist and Vince Foster…somehow.
One of my proudest moments was when Ted Nugent went on Facebook live looking particularly stupid to assure his fans that he was alive after I had him murdered because emails Benghazi something or other Kenya. Other than that useless dimwit and Chachi, who nobody cares about anyway, no person who actually matters has ever bothered to address the obvious work of Trollandia™.
Hannity did. Hannity can’t help himself. So stupid is he that he thinks he can ride the Trumptails of real journalists being “fake news” and tweet things like this:
— Sean Hannity (@seanhannity) June 18, 2017
First off, Sean…just what the hell do CNN and NBC have to do with an internet troll killing you in a set of satirical articles promoted solely on Facebook? Did they pick it up and report it? The fact that you were ignorant enough to think you could link a hoax to the people who make you look so foolish so often with a tweet is very telling.
Second — thank you. There I was, sitting at my desk thinking of the next asshole to kill off and boom…Sean Hannity tweets the direct URL to my website.
Not only did I get to take the rest of the day off, I went out and bought that 36″ propane griddle I’ve been wanting with the cast iron top. I thought about you often, Sean, as I seasoned it for the first time. If you wouldn’t mind making sure your massive ego links the page every time you’re mentioned that’d be great. Your fans are idiots. They click ads like there’s no tomorrow.
Of course, this isn’t my first run-in with the Hanster. This imbecile was silly enough to use valuable time live with Julian Assange to ask him about a document number from Wikileaks that proved that three prominent Republicans were on the Clinton payroll. It was hilarious. I remembered thinking how random the number was that I invented in my head one day that I was now listening to Hannity ask Assange about. And Julian? Nice job of having no idea but making it sound like the thing actually exists. Big bump in traffic.
Hannity is nothing but grade A douchebag. Toying with him is fun. Eating burgers off the grill he bought me? Priceless.