In 2012 I embarked on a journey to the dark side of politics. At that moment an evolution began that would take me from lifelong liberal Democrat who was desperate for right-wingers to hear the truth to guy who made memes poking fun at the obstinate Tea Party. That turned me into a Liberal Troll who stole conservative pages and covered them with goats and eventually landed me at angry liberal blogger who tears apart their stupidity every chance he can get.
In a nutshell, I saw an opportunity through social media to change the hearts and minds of those who were being fed complete bullhonkey and ultimately learned that you can’t fix stupid. Yes, it really is that simple. Four years and tens of thousands of posts, memes and articles later and not a single conservative mind changed.
They hate me because I stand up for the black guy in the White House; because I don’t consider minorities a blight on our nation; because I don’t see LGBTs as an abomination before God and because I don’t assume everyone with brown skin is either here illegally or looking to kill me for Allah. That’s just how it is. Conservatives are selfish, uneducated douchebags who vote republican against their own best interests because they just love to hate.
But now…now we have the answer to all of our thoughts and prayers. Now we have the great unifier, the man who will make America great again, the guy with all the answers: Donald J Trump. Now that the messiah has come back and the stock market is building itself a nice bubble, many on the right — and far too many on the left — have decided it’s time for us to put aside our differences and finally get along!
Well that’s easy, now, isn’t it? Forgive and forget. After all, Trump has gone from a-hole who rage tweets all day and night to president-elect who rage tweets all day and night. That right there is an AMAZING change. As a candidate, rage tweeting all the time was crude and irresponsible. As president-elect, it’s a clever way to circumvent the need for that pesky press so he can get his message directly to the people. It’s all so clear now.
Speaking of that pesky press, there’s another thing the Trumpidency has cured. The press used to be broken down into left, right and centrist, with most landing in the middle. Now, the press has been clearly been defined for the next generation. We have the liberal mainstream media, which is everyone but Fox News and Breitbart, who only publish extreme bias against Lord Cheeto and the shiny new category “fake news,” and then we have Fox and Breitbart, who offer fair and balanced honesty with no bias at all.
How could we have been so blind? We’re sorry, Fox News. We should have known that your 42 stories a day about how unfair the media was to Donald Trump and how wrong it was for journalists to back Hillary Clinton were the whole truth and the end of the story. It was tough to see through the 3 hours of Trump phone calls on Fox and Friends, the 2 hours of interviews with his surrogates on The Five and the rest of the day’s gushing for him right through his best bud Hannity’s hour-long man-crush love-in, but I digress.
But…Megyn Kelly was a bit harsh to him quite a few times, so there’s that. She’ll pay for that soon enough, though, won’t she?
Now we have a new movement I like to refer to as the Stealers Wheel of politics: Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right; here I am — stuck in the middle with you. The right has decided that the hell they’ve put us through for eight years should be forgotten because now we have a white guy who’s going to fix everything…again…so we can just forget about 2009-2016. The left, or the far left I should say, are now inundating the comments on our pages and letting us know that the time is now to show compassion for those Trump fooled and to give the fool a chance to make things right.
Whether these sentiments are born of a deep desire to end the rift in our nation or out of guilt because they were far too progressive to vote for Hillary Clinton and instead voted for Trump via Jill Stein, the new bleeding-heart liberal has lost that nasty “L” word and moved on to being “progressive.” Yeah, that was a word we were all getting far too comfortable with, apparently. It only belongs to the REAL pure of heart who have wrapped enough Bernie Sanders bumper stickers around their heads to create a convenient little blindfold.
Have I pissed you off yet? If so…good. Because this crap about “can’t we all just get along” is a fantasy. Can we just get along with people who think memes about BLM protests only happening because none of “them” have jobs is funny? Can we get along with idiots who believe that the only good Muslim is a dead Muslim? Will we set aside our differences with people who think “gay” is synonymous with “pedophile?” That barely scratches the surface of the gun-toting, fetus-loving, woman hating Jesus hypocrites we deal with on a daily basis — and now you want us to all be chums?
As a liberal, I am bound by my principles to try to see the inherent good in everybody and every situation. I will grant you that there are Trump supporters who voted for a populist movement to take establishment politicians out of government. Contrary to what Fox and the right will tell you, however, that wasn’t what won the election. In the end, Republicans voted Republican and Democrats voted Democrat. Independents voted the same as they always do, splitting nearly down the middle. Democrats cast a few million more votes than Republicans, they just didn’t do it in the right counties to secure an electoral college victory.
That’s not a mandate. It’s not a populist movement. It’s an election, and boo f*cking hoo, we lost. That doesn’t mean that we give up and stop fighting and allow our country to be tossed on the scrap heap one middle-class home at a time, it means we dig in and fight back and make sure next time around we don’t get cocky and complacent in states like Michigan and Wisconsin, where rural idiots came out in droves to vote for change that isn’t coming and jobs that won’t return.
There is no way that I’m going to forgive and forget and become pals with some stooge who thinks he owns the word “patriot” because he has an eagle for a profile picture and enough ammo to survive the zombie apocalypse. He’s just as ridiculous today as he was 3 months ago. I won’t be extending the olive branch to people who call me a murderer for believing a woman should have the right to choose what’s best for her and her future. I’m not going to shake the hand of some imbecile who just a month ago posted a picture of my President swinging from a tree by a noose because he “broke the constitution.”
What I am going to do is spend the next four years pointing out every lie Trump tells the American people. Every time he breaks yet another campaign promise I’m going to shout it from the rooftops. When his followers go on stupid rants and call for gay people, minorities and Muslims to be executed because they’re not white, Christian or moral enough to live in America, I’m going to screencap it and show the whole world. There will be no truce; there will be no partnership with the daft.
It is us versus them, plain and simple. If you disagree with that philosophy and consider me or this blog to be a part of the problem, you should have your head examined right after you unlike and unfollow us. Thanks for all the good times we’ve shared. It’s been an honor being beneath you all these years.
Busta Troll ~ And the truth shall set you free.