Trump’s Tuesday Morning Twitter Tantrum: A YUGE Win For The New York Times

It’s good to see Lord Cheeto still has his priorities straight. After all, isn’t it customary for the next leader of the free world to make the first order of business every day to tweet a little temper tantrum about how unfair his poor life is? Like most typical mornings, Herr Trump didn’t disappoint.

First, he had to cancel his meeting with the New York Times, probably because their offices didn’t have enough gold content to adequately maintain the orange hew he exudes:

“Wahhhhh!!!! The big bad (failing if you’re a delusional megalomaniac) New York Times was mean to me. They changed breakfast from McMuffins to Croissanwiches! Wahhhhh!!!” Yes, if you’re wondering, I do fully intend to continue this tone with Lord Cheeto straight through his farce of a presidency.

Next up, it’s time to cry some more, insult some more and declare the free press unfair, which is exactly what America needs to cure the divisiveness we’re currently experiencing:

Poor Donnie. If only they’d stop pointing out that he refuses to denounce the white supremacists currently giving him the Nazi salute or the hate crimes being performed in his name. Alas, there are more nefarious things afoot than that. The cast of Hamilton is rude and The New York Times says mean things.

Let’s focus on that, right, you giant traffic  cone? And so it continues:

They announced it, you idiot, because it was your knuckledragging supporters, demanding the news stop reporting the news if it made you look bad, who drove their complaints through the roof. Did you think it was people who actually knew how to read? Nope. It was people passing the “contact us” link around Reddit. It was imbeciles who were upset that they couldn’t find the comic section. It was a bunch of low-information, believe anything you say asshats who came out in droves to drag this country to its knees by putting you in charge of it for the next four years or until you get yourself impeached — whichever comes first.

That brings us to the next tweet on Trump’s morning agenda: Declare yourself supreme commander for the next eight years, thus negating the need to bother with an election in 2020:

And thus ended yet another morning prelude to what we can expect our country to look like for the next four years.

Hamilton is rolling over in his grave.

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