Trump Takes Russia’s Side Again In A Wednesday Morning, Pee-Inspired Meltdown For The Ages

Oooooooooh he mad.

Donald Trump, known for his Twitterific self-immolations, is beginning what looks to be a fierce battle against something any normal person would just laugh off. Unfortunately for Lord Cheeto — and yes, we checked, yellow and orange is still a shade of orange — he has to contend with the fact that he’s a petulant turd who has done things much worse. The Golden Shower Story, so epic it now needs capitalization according to the new AP stylebook, is far too easy to believe.

Donald Trump owns that. It’s Lord Cheeto’s own fault he’s Lord Peed-O

So last night he took out the new conservative mantra: “Fake news!” That will be the no-mind, dimwit response to everything the world of the wingnut won’t want to hear for the next four years. The term, which also applies to liberal tabloid “journalism” like Groopspeak or New Century Times, was coined after hundreds of websites popped up to make money from stupid people who will believe anything.

Donald Trump, anyone else running as a Republican, Fox News and Breitbart have repurposed the term from meaning “garbage about Benghazi sold to morons” to “anything real we want to deny.” Here’s Big Loompa’s masterful rage-Tweet:

He couldn’t possibly leave it at “wahhhhh….no fair.” He had no choice but to go on to make claims that just don’t seem possible:

RELATED: The Top 15 Responses To Trump’s Golden Shower Bombshell That Will Surely Make You Pee A Little Too

Yeah, but did you watch some girls pee on a bed or not? That’s really all anyone cares about. Your ties to Russia, if any, will be found because you’re not as smart as you think you are. So…do ya like the pee or not? Come on, Donald…we’re liberals. We don’t give a rat’s ass if you like pee. What we don’t like, and this is quoting one of my favorite writers, Jen Froderman:

From a scandal free first family straight to “mommy, what is a golden shower.”

That about sums it up, doesn’t it?

Last but certainly not least: The final word:

But wait there’s more. Hahahaha. This is crazy. he just keeps on melting as I’m writing. It’s perfectly hilarious:

Don’t ever stop, Donny. Please just don’t ever stop.

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