It was a battle of the imbeciles this afternoon as the Republicans, who managed to vote repeal Obamacare 57 times while there was no hope it would pass through senate or be signed by the president, had to give up on their very first try as the governing party of the United States. The sentiment was easily conveyed in their eyes; it was embarrassing. The stupidity that spilled from their lips, however, that’s where the real fun began.
It began with Speaker of the House Eddie Munster Ryan with pursed lips and a look of concern for
the American people his job and campaign contributions showing remorse that the Republicans still hadn’t learned hoe to come together to pull 216 votes from a pool of 237 Republicans. All in all it was a decent attempt at making it look like the GOP just wasn’t comfortable making a rash decision when the truth is, had the utter lump of sh*t they wrote passed and managed to become law, they would have lost a few dozen of those seats, the Senate, The White House and their chances of ever convincing the American people that they were qualified to govern for the foreseeable future.
Ryan was left with the same doom and gloom “Obamacare is imploding” talking points that have made the GOP popular with morons for the past 8 years. Obama(anything) equals bad…mkay? I have to admit it was fun to watch him squirm and say “Obamacare is the law of the land.” Another favorite moment was when he said, “It was easy to be the opposition party. All we had to do was be against things.”
Yeah, that pretty much sums up the entire reason any Republican received a paycheck since 2009.
Over at the White House, in the glare of his gaudy new gold drapes, President Trumplestiltskin took a different approach. Rather than trying to explain the failure of a majority congress with a friendly president in the White house and a 4-4 tie sitting on the Supreme Court, he went another way altogether. He blamed the Democrats.
“It would have been nice to have some support,” said the Butternut Bigot, “Not one Democrat voted with us.” He then went on to explain how wrong and unfair that is and how Democrats are dead set on destroying the America he just wants to make great again.
He’s right. Of the 193 Democrats who could have voted to eliminate health care for 24 million people, take subsidies from low-income families and assign mandate penalties as bonuses to insurance companies, not a single one crossed the aisle. To Trump, that makes Democrats 100 percent responsible for the GOP’s inability to secure a simple majority from within the majority party.
In my humble troll opinion, while Ryan’s explanation lacked any kind of actual information worthy of using in a healthy discussion, he at least kept the blame for sucking at governing at home where it belonged rather than Trumping it over to the Democrats. Trump may have 62 million pieces of low-hanging fruit ready to accept whatever ineptitude comes across his lips but for all intents and purposes, this round goes to Paul Ryan for being slightly less of a simpleton.
It also goes to the American people for standing up at enough town halls, responding to enough polls and sending enough postcards and letters to make sure the Republican’s first major attempt at destroying our country didn’t go unnoticed.