At a Youngstown, Ohio rally on Tuesday evening Donald Trump brought up the subject of Mount Rushmore. He used the iconic landmark while talking about manufacturing, saying that the four presidents whose likenesses are chiseled into it “believed in protecting American industry.” But then things got weird.
“Now here’s what I’d do,” Trump said. “I’d ask whether or not you think I will someday be on Mount Rushmore. But no….”
At that point he paused to let his adoring fans cheer and tell him, “Yes Daddy, we love you so and we doooooooooo so think you should be on Mount Rushmore.” Which is exactly what many of them did.
Having had his ego stroked, the Orange Emperor then turned his comment into an attack on the media.
“But here’s the problem, if I did it joking, totally joking, having fun, the fake news media will say ‘he believes he should be on Mount Rushmore.’ So I won’t say it. Okay? I won’t say it.”
Trump said “I won’t say it,” except he just did. If he didn’t want to get the crowd’s reaction to the idea that he should be on Mount Rushmore, then why bring it up at all? Make your remark about the four presidents who are there, and move on. It’s that simple.
Trump wants to be on Mount Rushmore? (You know he loves the thought of that.) I say let’s put Trump on Mount Rushmore. Well, actually, Mount Rushmore is kind of crowded, so maybe finding another place for Trump would be better. And Mount Rushmore is made of granite, which is gray. We need to find a mountain made of sandstone, which comes in shades of orange.
And let’s forget about putting Trump’s face on a mountain. Instead, let’s put the part of him that best represents not only his presidency, but who he is as a human being. His ass. If Donald Trump wants to be on a mountain, let’s find an orange sandstone mountain and carve a giant likeness of his two saggy ass cheeks into it. Complete with butthole.
We’ll make the whole thing interactive. Visitors can stand at the base of the mountain and select from a variety of topics — anything from “fake news” to “Russia.” When they push a button, gas will erupt from the butthole, along with little Twitter birds. And the voice of Trump will be heard throughout the valley. “FAAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEEEE NEEEEEEWWWWWSSSSSSS!!!!”
I can think of nothing else that would be a greater tribute to the man or his presidency.
Here’s Trump bringing up the idea he should be on Mount Rushmore, then denying he mentioned it, via Twitter:
… trump invokes idea of his face on mt rushmore, says media will lie about it, & that’s why he won’t bring it up (even though he just did) pic.twitter.com/xYOybqfxnv
— fake nick ramsey (@nick_ramsey) July 25, 2017