Trump’s Latest Twitter Tantrum Screams He Is Freaking About Russia Investigation

OUR PRESIDENT IS TOTALLY FINE AND YOU’RE FAKE NEWS FOR THINKING OTHERWISE! There is nothing to see here.

Would a man who is not fine change his Twitter cover photo to this?

The guy is completely comfortable and just wants to inform the public on something Clapper did not say today. I mean jeez, guys, it’s totally normal to lie when you have absolutely nothing to hide!

And obviously, Trump is just so darn mad that the media won’t chase the real story — was he being surveilled!? How dare the government surveil him, when he only asked Putin for that one measly favor of helping him beat Clinton in one small election. Where does Obama get off? Surveillance is the story FAKE NEWS MEDIA, not what it may or may not have found. DUH.


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And Trump just wants you to know that it’s all just a big hoax. Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out any minute, with his cute, dimpled smile and shout, “You got Punk’d, bro!” And America will laugh and laugh and Republicans and Democrats will clap each other on the back and share a beer. Donnie is only looking out for your tax dollars, after all, because he wants to get back to Mar-a-Lago to spend your tax dollars and remember that time he didn’t care that Benghazi got 11 investigations.


And don’t pay attention to Sally Yates, y’all. Don’t be like that fake media. She only confirmed that she informed the president of a national security threat within his administration and got fired for it while the threat got to stay on board until the FAKE NEWS went public and Flynn had to get fake fired. BORING!!!


And here is the tweet o’gold Trump’s staff felt the need to literally photoshop onto his cover pic of a sea of smiling white assholes, beaming with joy because they’re grateful to be fucking us all in the ass again. I mean I guess it’s memeable, what with it being snazzy but not true because Clapper said today that at the time he made that statement he hadn’t been aware of the FBI’s collusion investigation and therefore hadn’t seen any evidence because it didn’t rise to his particular agency. I guess we can pretend Clapper is the end all be all authority on Trump’s innocence. I guess.

Yep, Trump is totally not feeling tingles under his ugly wig, nor is he filling his adult diapers with digested taco bowls and KFC. Everything is dandy.


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