We Finally Know Who Trump Was Trying To Impress With His Foolish Attack On Syria

Ok, mystery solved! As more and more details have come out about Trump’s puny, but uber expensive, cruise missile attack on Syria, the real motive behind the attack has been the topic of much discussion. Mainly because it didn’t really fall in line with any kind of overall strategy and certainly didn’t cause near the damage needed to have any impact. We punched a few holes in the ground with some really expensive, super technical lawn darts to the tune of a few million dollars. Yet, we are the United States and if we really want to blow the sh*t out of something, we can.

I mean, FFS, we spend more money than anyone else in the world on stuff to blow sh*t up with. It’s kind of a thing, apparently. So Trump “taking it easy” is just a bit off.


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Naturally, Trump’s supporters seem to think he nailed it and the United States is back on the track of being the “man” of the world that puts boots up people’s asses. “Daddy’s Home” has been a phrase bouncing around conservative circles after a viral post referred to Trump as “Daddy.” (Barf! and Double Barf!)

On the other side of the isle, there has been chatter that this was all for show to further cover up ties with Russia or simply a political stunt to better his ratings.

Perhaps the truth has finally come out via the lips of Trump’s other brother Darryl son Eric. In an interview with The Telegraph, he said:

Ivanka is a mother of three kids and she has influence. I’m sure she said ‘listen, this is horrible stuff.’ My father will act in times like that.

You don’t say?

Hmm, maybe Ivanka took that whole “complicit” thing to heart? I mean, it appears she may actually have felt something about someone else other than. . . well, she may have actually felt something.

So sweet, dear Ivanka saw Syrian babies being gassed to death by their government and she had to break out of that “complicit” thing (who the hell has the right to call her words she doesn’t know the meaning of?!?!?! Don’t worry though, she figured it out). So, she acted as any first-lady-daughter would and helped influence her father into acting. Not with changing his view on the refugee ban so the United States could actually shelter the people fleeing from the government trying to exterminate them, though. Let’s not go that far, okay?


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Lovely. Just lovely. A father’s love is never-ending. Ivanka gets a case of the feels and daddy half-assed, riskily bombs another country to make his little girl feel better.

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